Facing The Pressure
The pain of pressure, natural shampoo vs Crisco and a plan for all the non-meal planners...
Here’s the honest truth, if we ever find ourselves going to lunch together and you ask me to pick the spot, chances are good we’re going to one of three places: Blaze, McAllister’s or Chicken Salad Chick. Just like Steve Jobs (who wore the same outfit every day to reduce decision fatigue), I like to stick to minimal options so I spend minimal time making the decision. Offering fewer options is about where my similarities with Mr. Jobs end. Sadly.
So why have I led you down this preferred lunch spot + Apple executive rabbit hole? Ol Steve was just a happy accident of stray thought, but lunch at Blaze is where I had a conversation about mounting pressures and increased paces.
What To Know
First and foremost, few things in life bring me joy like the Take Two option at Blaze. I just needed to be clear about where my joy lies: Carbs + Jesus.
It was over my half cheese-less chicken pizza and Green Goddess dressing doused salad that I heard the echoes of my 20-something-self coming from across the table. My friend talked about how her love of what she did was being tainted by the mounting pressure to do it even better. To prove she was the woman for the job.
She’s not the only one who’s feeling this. Some of you shared some very similar thoughts:
“It’s not just pressure from one place. It feels like there’s an underlying pressure to most roles I fill: employee, wife, friend, sister, daughter. And then the pressure to balance all the pressure…”
“Why do I feel pressure to always have something going on? Like a plan-less day is a wasted day.”
“Every task done to perfection, with no mistakes.”
“I feel like I should be a mom who ‘has it all together’, when I, in fact, do not have it together. At all.”
“The pressure I feel most is the kind I put on myself, and I just keep layering it on.”
“Get it all done. Do it well. And look good while you do it.”
The pressures, in most cases, have a singular focus: You.
You’re the problem. It’s you.
You carry it. You navigate it. You overcome it only to hit reset and start again.
Because you’ve never learned healthy patterns in navigating something that seems to grow faster than the really annoying chin hair you can only see in your car’s visor mirror.
We are riding the Pony of Proving on the this miserable merry-go-round, afraid that if we get off…we’re failures.
But what about the cost of staying on the ride?
Women, specifically, have a tendency to be gap-fillers. Filling the outward gaps can easily flip to creating huge chasms in identity, healthy rhythms and overall joy in what we’re called to be and do.
Want to know what Scripture says about this belief that everything rides on us? Sure you do. Galatians says - and I’m paraphrasing here - that it’s just really dumb.
“How foolish can you be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? Have you experienced so much for nothing? Surely it was not in vain, was it?” (Galatians 3:3-4)
Paul is asking the people of Galatia if they’ll return to the law after experiencing the life-giving work of Jesus. In a sense, he’s asking us, “Do you believe that where you are is a result of your own efforts, and therefore believe you can only sustain it and move forward through your own efforts, too?”
The Message paraphrases this passage like this:
“Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!" (Galatians 3:3-4)
The pressure to be someone…
Someone else…
Someone better…
Someone smarter..
Someone more gifted…
Someone thinner…
Someone further along…
Someone more put together…
Someone more well-connected…
Someone softer…
Someone harder…
The pressure to be whatever the expectations and idealizations have determined we should be is already lacking before we even begin pursuing it. Why? Because what’s man-made will never live up to what God makes. It will never touch what He crafts and shapes in the very season He intentionally has you in right now.
Our human effort can never achieve His design.
We are cracked and cracking, trying to hold up a standard of what we think we should be like, live like, look like, sound like - and trying to plaster over those cracks with bigger effort, longer hours, more checks by the to-do list, which only leads to a light extinguished. Instead of fanning the flame, we’re running on fumes.
Burnout is a thief. Robbing us of the rest found in knowing the Spirit sweeps in to fill all the gaps we may leave behind.
Burnout isn’t a badge of honor, it’s a badge of pride. Proudly proclaiming YOU instead of JESUS.
If we never admit weakness, we never proclaim His strength. We craft a story with us as the main character, the hero.
Does that draw anyone closer to the life-giving, soul-resting, able-to-redeem-every-moment power of Jesus?
Or does that just draw attention to ourselves?
“Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
So, while pressure can bring growth, while it can be a privilege that calls us higher - it can also bury us. The difference is in approach.
I can bring my best efforts, I can strive for excellence, but I have to temper it with surrender. In a weird way, I have to give up before I start. I have to give up my desire to prove anything about myself, and instead prove Him far more capable than me.
You are where you are, with the responsibilities you have, doing exactly what you’re doing because God very specifically and intentionally put you there to do it. So, why wouldn’t He continue equipping you?
The pressure is in your grip on control. Only when we release our white-knuckle hold on what we want to happen can we crawl out from under the pressure He never designed us to live under. His strength is showcased in our weakness.
Hear more from this week’s episode: It’s Time We Learn To Handle Pressure
What To Ignore
I feel like I’m about to go into “unpopular opinion” territory here. So everyone buckle up. I’m not on the side of “fully clean” products yet because it takes time and effort I simply cannot currently spare. But, I do try the ol switcharoo every time I hear good ratings on a product.
Native Shampoo and Conditioner entered the chat. The first few uses, I was ready to put this bad boy under the “What To Try” column. But, with time, my heart has changed. I’ve noticed my hair gets greasier faster, requiring fewer days between washes. No matter the layers of dry shampoo, it still looks like I’ve dipped my hands in Crisco before running my fingers through my hair. (I’m not sure in what scenario I’m randomly dipping my hands in Crisco, but the visual felt important.)
The smell of Native? 10/10. The actual cleanliness of my hair after native? 3/10.
What To Try
I’ve tried, okay? I’ve tried to be one of those “Meal Prep Sunday” people. I’ve tried to plan dinners a week out. I’ve tried. And it’s just not for me. I like quick meals that I just happen upon on my strolls through the Kroger aisles.
One such meal was inspired by the back of a McCormick White Chicken Chili seasoning packet. I grabbed the ingredients and whipped it up for dinner and can I just say? It was so good. So for my people who are just trying to pull together a dinner with the least amount of thought - allow me to steer you toward the spice aisle to grab the above seasoning packet with the recipe below:
Ingredients:
1 McCormick White Chicken Chili Seasoning Packet
1lb of diced chicken
1 TBSP olive oil
1 can white beans, undrained
1 C water
Instructions:
Heat oil over medium heat
Toss in chicken, cook until no longer pink
Add beans, seasoning packet and water, bring to a boil
Lower heat, stir, cover and simmer for 10 minutes
Just trying to level the culinary playing field one little-to-no effort recipe at a time.
Speaking of dinner, is there anything better than just a bowl of cereal for dinner? The simplicity! The refills! Bonus if it has less than 12g of sugar! Maybe it’s time to bring our FIT guru Brooke back. I’m heading down a dangerous, but delicious, path.
As always, if the mood strikes and your heart so leads you - take a second to share our newsletter with your people!
