Staying Put, Hot Rollers and Skin By Baby Oil

It's late and that subject line is the best I had to offer.

Let’s say it together: See ya, January. One month felt like it lasted approximately 87 years. Is it because we’re trying to workout daily and eat more greens? Does that make time slow down? Probably, yes.

Shew, get me out of this month and into the conversation hearts that bring me the most joy. Speaking of getting out…(This is semi-forced transition to our next topic below. Just go with it.)

What To Know

There's sometimes this strong temptation to leave, isn't there? An itch when our expectations run up against a reality we wouldn’t have chosen.

Whether it's in relationships, plans, jobs - prolonged discomfort makes us feel cornered into only one option: escape. 

I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago with Natalie Runion, creator of IG account, Raised to Stay, about a mentality permeating entire generations: If what you see isn’t what you want, cancel it and move on to something else.

Now, let me be really clear here, are there moments it’s absolutely time to go? For sure. But, like we talked about in last week’s episode “Finding Direction for Hard Decisions”, we can easily turn an opportunity into an exit plan before it’s time to go.

While this episode is mainly about choosing to stay or go within the job world, much of the underlying principles we talk about can be applied to the question that pops up in lots of arenas: Do I stick around or cut ties?

Over the past year, I’ve had multiple conversations around fear + scarcity rooted decision-making. We have a tendency to rush into what’s next simply because we don’t want to “miss our shot”. A culture rooted in chasing, proving and climbing has made where we’re at seem less desirable than where we could potentially be…where we think we deserve to be.

We spend so much time blaming external factors, when really there are some internal assessing aching to be done.

Gosh, do I so, completely, get it. When you desire more, but aren't sure there's a next step where you’re at. When you struggle to navigate the difference between being faithful where you are, and just being flat out naive. 

How do you practically navigate the tension between a want to do something you're passionate about, but being asked to do something else?

You’ve heard me beat the drum for those who make the decision to leave that how you leave one chapter will determine how you start the next. That's 100% true.

But there's a flip side: How you stay matters.

If you struggle with the decision to go or stay, and come to the conclusion you're supposed to be right where you are - it means you have to release whatever it was that made you want to leave in the first place.

Natalie moved across states to walk into a dream position, but quickly found she had to navigate something less than dream-like. That moment led to the launch of the counter-cultural sentiment: Raised to Stay. Instead of validating every single reason to go, she pressed in to learn what it means to stay.

Here’s a bit of what Natalie and I talked about:

Or, for those reading at their desks and don’t want to panic mute their computer, here’s the transcript of the clip:

I always tell people: Our first choice isn't God's best all the time. When we say yes to Jesus, we don't necessarily get to dictate where we put our yes.

Sometimes He requires something different of us, and that's scary because it's not familiar. I felt like the Lord said to me, “Are you okay with the fact that I haven't changed My mind about you, but I do need to change My method and how I use you? Because we need to choose something different. I actually have something for you and it has nothing to do with this platform, this position.”

And when He gave me Raised to Stay, the mandate was, “I created you for the rest of your life to tell people they can't quit.”

While you’re commuting, taking a walk, working out, cooking dinner or folding laundry, take some time to listen to the whole conversation: Choosing to Stay When Leaving Would Be Easier.

What To Ignore

Hot rollers. In case you haven’t seen/heard, these scalding curlers are making a comeback. (I blame TikTok and the influencers need for continual content at all times forever and ever amen.) I have LITERAL scars from these weapons.

Let me just remind you of last year’s trend that is better for your hair, and your sanity. Maybe not so much for your overnight appeal: The heatless curler. I actually found this one for $5.00 at TJMaxx and promise you - I had the exact same results as hot rollers.

Now, I’m still learning on the execution side. But even with my hair loosening around it throughout the night, the curls were still great.

Here’s to *not* bringing the heat.

What To Try

Callie is my name and skincare has become my game. Part of me wants to delete that sentence, but I’m holding true to who I am and right now I like to rhyme. Trust me when I say, no one told me I should start paying attention to my skin earlier to prevent having to sell a kidney on the black market to correct the damage done as a poor, naive, baby-oil-instead-of-sunscreen-20-something.

I am an exfoliating, GuaSha sculpting, moisturizing fiend now. But, I’ve got some help from those who I have forced to become my skin’s best friends. Allow me to introduce you.

Payton of @aestheticallyyouknox at Kersey Laser & Spa provides top-tier facials and overall treatments that have played a huge role in clearing this ANNOYING adult acne and improving the overall texture and look of my skin. And I can honestly say I’m always deeply disappointment when she forces me off her table to see other clients - I want to make my home in her cozy little room.

Next, my friends at Refine Dermatology. I love ridiculously nice people, clear explanations, easy check-ups and not having to call on the phone to schedule an appointment. In that order. This husband and wife team opened up their office because they were tired of not being able to actually spend time with patients and always telling patients it’ll be months out before they can get an appointment. If you’ve been in the market for a dermatologist (which we should all be getting at least once a year check-ups…specifically those of us who fall in the aforementioned “baby oil” generation) - I can’t recommend this gem of a place enough.

(And in case anyone thinks I hold more clout than I do, neither of them offered me anything to talk about them. I just genuinely love the people and the results.)

What a send off, January. You’re welcome. And hey, if this email or the podcast left you better - would you mind sharing? I know, I know. But, seriously, it’s incredibly helpful. You all are the very best.