The Power of Pausing Pressure
Signs of burn-out and what to do about it.
Last week I was basking in my new found love of Isle of Palms, SC. They had a Fourth of July golf cart parade down the main road - could that BE anymore Gilmore Girls-esque?!
I spent the week with the plug yanked out of real life. I didn’t want to be connected to anything that carried pressure. We flew kites, dug enough sand holes to make beach walking hazardous and ate Fruity Pebbles every morning.
We all eat Fruity Pebbles on vacation…right?
What To Know
I get it - we don’t always get to decide what carries pressure. Or to completely walk away from it. Check-lists at work, assignments due, kids to shape, relationships to nurture - but we do get to create boundaries around how it impacts us. The slow erosion of our peace in the present by the strain of the future is too high a price to pay.
There has to be margin. It’s within the margin we grow.
What would margin look like for you?
Uninterrupted dinners? Feasible bedtimes? Silencing notifications at a specific time? Early mornings for quiet time to yourself? Walks outside? Leaning into community even if you’re afraid it’ll be uncomfortable?
This isn’t easy to figure out. But knowing and protecting the margin - the space you can turn “it” off and just be - is directly tied to your ability to avoid burn out.
Starting strong is not the hard part. Staying strong is where it gets tricky.
The solution isn’t necessarily in time management, but rather, in energy management.
During a small group session last spring, a friend of mine was talking about her new job. She was managing a brand new team, getting calls and questions sent her way all day…even after her car left the company parking lot.
And she was tired.
“Just don’t answer,” was the group’s obvious solution (the WISDOM of it all). “But my bosses keep talking about how great it is that I’m accessible,” she responded.
Few will create boundaries for you. Few will protect your boundaries but you.
The fruit of real boundaries is the ripening of fruits of the Spirit.
I’ll be honest with you, when my energy is at its lowest - I’m not trying to love anybody. Joy, peace and patience? More like ticked, annoyed and rushed. And all that kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? Ya’ll I’m working to reflect those on a good day…so what do you think it looks like after a long day?
How do you know if you’re living without margin? Well, what do your reactions look like? What do your thoughts sound like?
One day, after a particularly strong reaction, I realized I didn’t really like who I was anymore. I was living without margin. Something had to change.
So here’s what I learned in gaining, and protecting, margin:
Pay attention to your inputs. You are what you read, listen to, watch. If what your input values is performance, proving, etc - guess what you’re going to eventually value, too? If when you put the input down you feel down - pay attention and adjust. I’m not saying cut them all out, be inspired!, but be aware of what’s allowed in and how it impacts what goes out.
Know your zones. When are you most productive? I thrive in the mornings. I’m a potato in the late afternoons. I plan my day accordingly. Things with pressing deadlines, requiring creativity/thoughtfulness, etc - those are my a.m. priorities, in my ready-for-anything zone. Things that just need review, response or scheduling - those are looked at later in the day, in my I’m-low-on-brain-cells zone. This is how I know I’m putting in my best effort, and how I can shut it down at my designated time without feeling guilty.
Set your limits. Setting your limit means you know when too much is too much. It’s self-awareness. If you’re hitting max capacity every day - you aren’t giving yourself enough time to recover. Pretty soon, you’re on a carousel of exhaustion. Know when you need to be done. And be done.
Be accountable. Communicate your boundaries to people who love you and love Jesus. Ask them to ask you. They’ll be the first to notice when your margin is slimming. When we’re strung too thin our reactions are…not great…so giving them permission to ask and help you calibrate now will temper your reaction later.
I can’t really tell you what your boundaries should be. We’re all living such completely different experiences and it grinds my gears when the pattern that fit one person is shouted from the rooftops as if it will fit all of us. Maybe the above tips will help you create your own unique boundaries? And, if not, well, I guess we’ll just keep losing our ever-loving-minds when the milk splashes over the rim of the bowl as soon as it hits the cereal. (Somehow we’ve come full circle back to cereal and I don’t hate it.)
What To Ignore
That itch to reach for your phone.
There’s something about breaking the habit.
What To Try
In no specific order, I have some of YOUR favorite things shared over on IG:
Protecting a Sabbath day every week
DIY Electrolyte Drinks: Water + lemon juice + Himalayan salt
And, lastly, what I’ve seen but never understood, but in the spirit of fairness: Menstrual Cups
Over the years with No One Told Me, I’ve slowly found my lane. Gathering and sharing the stories that shape us most in an effort to help those coming behind us feel a little less alone in whatever they’re walking through.
Hindsight is most valuable when it’s shared. Have you shared your story? The hard thing you felt alone in, but found a way through? What if it could help someone else find their way through?
If you’re ready, I’d love to hear your story. Shoot me an email over at callie@noonetoldmepodcast.com.
I can’t wait to hear from you. Seriously.
So, so good.